04/21/2009

Mr. Kim Remembered, Eulogy

Ui Jung Kim, My Father

He was a man who held high ideals and always wanted the best for his family and friends. Ever since I was a little kid, I remember my father pulling me out of my daily routine to give advice about life and how important family and friends were. At the time, I thought that he had nothing better to do than bother his children, but I realize that he just wanted the best for his children and to make sure they would grow and value family and friends as much as he did.

I look at my father and see someone who would do anything for the people he cared about. Every time relatives would visit, he would go out of his way to take them to the various tourist sites in the Bay Area. Even on the day of his stroke, he wasn't feeling well, but he willed himself to attend the Tae Kwon Do belt ceremony for Lockheed in Sunnyvale. It would have been so easy for him not to go, but he still went. I think this just shows how my father put his friends above his own health, as it was just shortly after the ceremony when he suffered a massive stroke.

When I look at my father's life, I see how many things went wrong. He had an idealistic view of the world as he always strove for righteousness and perfection in himself and in others. I think that because he expected perfection in this world, he was disappointed with the imperfections in himself and in others as well as the unfairness in the world. Facing difficult situations, one after another in his life, affected him deeply because of his idealistic view of the world. Nevertheless, he knew what was important in life: faith, love of family and friends, sacrifice for others, honesty, integrity, kindness and generosity. Despite his difficult situations, he continued to hope and persevere.

After his stroke, he went through different phases which included depression and anger but he continued on for the last months of his life, appearing to be at peace and accepting his situation. I believe that having faith in God when things are bad is more meaningful to God than faith in Him when all is well.

His heart attack was very sudden and unexpected because everyone thought he was fairly stable. Despite the paralyzing stroke, his death shocked everyone. I guess we feared he would continue to suffer and live for many years in his condition, as his body would slowly deteriorate. We forget how uncertain life is. We need to remember how precious life is, and to live every moment as if it was our last. We all knew there was nothing more that he nor anyone else could do for him to get well. It was truly in God's hands.

I believe that God had a plan, and put him in such a situation because he knew that my father would be able to handle it, and that ultimately it would bring him closer to God. And finally, God decided to take him home. God did not want him to suffer anymore and knew that my father was going to absolutely love heaven because of his idealistic views and yearnings for perfection. God in heaven will fulfill every dream that my father ever had.